Love don’t create pain. Instead ATTACHMENT. EXPECTATION AND NEEDING the other are what cause us our pain
Intimacy is similar to authenticity. Both involve revealing your true-self to another person. Simple to say, fear of intimacy is your body’s natural defense system that wants to protect you from feeling betrayed, abandoned, or rejected. Those who have fear of intimacy usually have fear of allowing others become too familiar and lose interest with them. One thing to note, we lose interest in people when they don’t pose a challenge anymore and when they can be taken for granted. Games can be boring. In games, we only want to verify our power, interest, attractiveness or self-worth.
- 1. Hiding behind emotional wall
- 2. Consider it over and over again before it even have the chance to start
- 3. Withdrawing silently from a relationship
Steps to Overcome
- Allow yourself to feel vulnerable sometimes to talk with your special someone about what’s going on in your life and how you really feel about it.
- Share your discomfort and worries sometimes could make negative feelings dissipate and your fear of intimacy gradually disappear.
- Be Trusting. Everyone has their own special relationship with trust and usually if they have been burnt once by a former partner, then they may not share this as easily with the new one.
- Discover your inner strength and understand that while partners can come and go. Self-love and self-respect are two qualities that should never fade away.
- Developing a powerful loving adult part of yourself that don’t take rejection personally.
- Take personal responsibility for defining your own worth instead of making other’s love and approval take charge and be responsible for your feelings of worth.
- We can always love but we cannot always be loved.
- Sometimes we might or might not receive responses the way we hoped. It doesn’t make us less worthy cause self worth is not based on how others respond to us.